the thread that ties

the thread that ties

i am a product of my
mother and she is a
product of her mother.

when i last visited with my
mom i asked her how she
could possibly be married
to someone who is so disconnected.

my dad is an alcoholic and not
always a nice one which has
scarred us all.

her only answer was one day
at a time.

i come from a long long line of
very strong women.

women have been forced to rule
the roost for generations and we
take it upon ourselves to do so
when the men don't pick up the
reins themselves.

my mother has been a mother
to her siblings since she was eleven
as their dad walked out on them leaving
a wife and five kids to fend on their
own.

then there is my dad, the golden boy
who had all the woman and all the
luck and never had to work for anything.

it caught up with him with his dull
existence revolving around booze
and work.

his job often took him out of town
for weeks and so my mother had to
step up to take care of us.

and he'd come back a stranger despite
me as a kid trying to involve him in
things with us.

he was more content to sit in front
of the tv in his recliner and drink.

my dad was brought up by a strong
and most likely overbearing woman.

she didn't marry until forty and then
had two kids.

she was the eldest of sixteen kids on
a farm in canada.

she was the head nurse at the hospital
and worked all her adult life as a public
health nurse for the reservations and
in the hospital

she ran a tight ship.

the only photo of my great grandmother
are of a tough scottish woman with a ton
of kids, not a hair out of place.

or her sitting on the porch with a shotgun.

that is how i feel when i am the one
who gets up in the middle of the night
when the chickens are being attacked
by raccoons or bats are flying in the house
and my husband is 'ignoring' it all.

get up and take care of it because he
is afraid.

so much for the man in his red long johns
running to the door to protect his family
and property.

that is one more myth created by
hollywood.

in reality it was the woman because
she had to.